South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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