I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
