Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
