I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
