We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I could fuck to npr.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
