fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
