I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Randomize
