i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
