So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize