Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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