The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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