I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
