Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
