Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
