I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize