i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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