Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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