i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
