i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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