If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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