Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
try to milk me bitch
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