My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
