are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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