forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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