Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
