If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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