69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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