Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
