ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
