You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
