I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
sarcasm needs its own font
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
