she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
