apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
