did you get engaged???
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
