we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
