When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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