I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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