is wine microwaveable?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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