All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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