so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
