how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
