Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
