so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
