u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
