Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize