On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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