the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
