I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
