do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
