I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize