I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
