Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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