shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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