Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
