You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
