Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
